Renata Leuffen had an interview with a current Senior Executive at SAP AG, Oracle's main rival. The interview was so bad and distressing, that the dead literally showed up. Renata saw a fog with the contours of dead women.
I want to share a vision that has affected me very deeply and changed my life forever.
This vision came to me on the 13th June 2013. It was during the moments that I was all alone in a room with the current Head of Cloud/Line of Business UKI at SAP and Member of the SAP Executive Team, Mr Mark McCarthy. He took me through a traumatic stress sex interview. The impact of what I experienced went so deep that it lifted my writer’s block of more than 20 years and made me wonder what’s going on within the IT industry, why the IT industry does not have an implementation of equality for women and what’s going on at the world’s third largest software company, SAP.
Here is what I saw:
The vision starts when I feel so low that I can’t go lower emotionally. I believe that Mr McCarthy went too far and crossed over a sacred threshold and triggered something.
I feel as if a bucket of injustice is being poured out over my head. It is as if a grey hand is coming out of nowhere, another world that is there but that cannot be seen with human eyes. It is an evil, a wicked hand. I feel as if something or someone hits me.
I am under attack. I am in a battle.
I am in great pain. I am in shock. And the pain and the shock are totally unexpected.
It sit on my chair and I observe what’s happening but, at the same time I am somewhere else.
And all happens so quick, so fast.
With my spiritual eye I see a fog on my left side and in the fog I see the contours of human bodies. I believe that these bodies are the bodies of women. I understand intuitively that these women were once all in the same situation that I am now in. That they had a destiny and that another human being stopped them and deranged their destinies. I feel the pain of being a human being with a deranged destiny. My destiny is being deranged as I sit there. It is a terrible feeling. I am so helpless. I am so vulnerable. There is no one there to help me. I am frozen with shock.
The way in which this stress sex interview is being conducted is too much for me. It is designed to cause me pain and it achieves its purpose. I am like a car on overdrive. Or a plane that is falling down from the sky and crashing.
The women in the fog had talents, were gifted and had a destiny on Earth. However, they were never able to fulfil their destinies because they were hindered. I feel undescribable grief. These souls suffer. I never knew that pain can go so deep. Can pain kill a human being?
Someone discriminated the women. Someone shut the door right in their face and the tragedy is that the door never opened again and the women were looking for a new door but could not find a new door because they became trapped in a psychological prison of silence, shame, fear, false guilt, hatred, self pity, anger and hopelessness.
Shame. The deadly poison. Disgrace. The murder weapon.
The women were sexually attacked like me. Perhaps they agreed to have sex with the man who demanded sex from them or perhaps they refused, I don’t know. This derangement of human destinies is a big issue. There are people everywhere who believe that the rightful course of their lives was altered because a person in the power position made a decision against them and threw them off course. What a tragedy!
It is unbearable to see the dead suffer and in pain. No rest. The women I see have no rest. No peace.
I suffer. Oh, the grief. The grieving women. I never knew that the human soul is so fragile, that it can experience such deep emotional pain. The grief cuts deeply into me, and overwhelms me.
As I sit there, I am totally overwhelmed. In my entire life, I have never felt such pain, grief of such an intensity. I never knew that a human being can feel such pain. And I never knew that a human being can feel such pain and not go crazy, and stay alive. I have always been a very happy person. I have felt pain and I have felt sad but, I have never come across something like this. Maybe, I have been on the lucky side, are there really people who feel a pain as deep as this...every day? Or, could it be that only the dead can feel this enormous pain...only the dead who know that they have missed their destiny...and their mark? Is this pain the pain that the people experience who end up in the realm that we call hell?
What am I living for? For a career? An illusion of success? For myself? Or, the truth? And can the truth be so sobering? Can the truth wake me up from my dream which I thought was my life?
And, why am I seeing this? Why am I feeling this? It is not really possible to describe this solemn moment in human words.
Did the women in the fog perhaps appear because they wanted to get me and I was about to enter the fog myself and to...disappear from all light forever and to get lost...and to sink in this fog...and spend all eternity together with these women...in a pain that goes beyond human understanding?
I had divine intervention. Once again. I have survived because of divine intervention.
Is the history of women on this planet a history of grief and defeat or of joy and triumph?
The women in the fog were meant to get the jobs that they applied for and the lives and careers and advancements that those jobs would have provided for them. They did not get the jobs. They could not live the lives that they were meant to live. They could not move on. They could not grow. The flame of their lives was extinguished by another human being’s cruelty and lovelessness.
Lovelessness. No mercy. No compassion. I look into McCarthy’s eyes. He delights in my pain. Is this really possible, that a human being causes pain to another human being and then delights in the pain that this human being is feeling? Like a vampire who lives from the blood that he is taking out of a human being's body.
I am in shock. I witness something that touches my soul deeply. I am so sad. I am sad because of the women. I am sad because of what is being done to me.
I am a victim of injustice and injustice causes pain. I was not made to feel the pain that I am feeling now.
And there is no one to help me. And there is no one to rescue me. We are alone. No one else is watching, or? There is this silent agreement. That I will stay silent, that no one will ever know. And I feel shame. I am innocent and I suffer. And the shame becomes unbearable. The bucket of shame and injustice poured out over my head. Injustice always leads to shame.
I believe that the women that I see in the vision are dead. If they are dead, how come that they are alive? And how come that they feel grief and pain?
The women in the vision are indeed in pain. It is a pain so strong and of such a nature and mixed with such grief and sadness, that it breaks my heart. I feel I am dying and I want to die. I cannot bear the feelings of despair of these women. And I am one of them. Innocent. Forever a victim of injustice.
Am I still alive? Or did I already die? Can I live on with something like this? Have I been damned? Do I have a future? Will I ever be able to recover? Can I cope with something like this?
Am I seeing the women and feeling this unbearable pain because something, a part of me, just died? During this stress sex interview?
I hear a cry with my inner, spiritual ear. A sound. A sound wave of deep, indescribable human pain rolls over me and through eternity. And if I can hear this pain and feel it, then others must be able to hear and feel it as well. Spiritually gifted people on the Earth. The dead in the place that we call Heaven. God Himself. The dead are alive. They live. The women are crying out. A heartbreaking cry. The women are crying out for justice.
As the color tone of the vision is beige, I associate what I see with the realm where the dead dwell. There are so many women, rows and rows of them. I feel that the women are not free to go wherever they want but that they are trapped. Are they confined to stay in a special realm for the dead with pain?
I am shocked. I am deeply disturbed. I have always rested in the secure knowledge that I will enter the realm that we call Heaven when I die. I haven’t thought of the other realms and places that exist in the other world. We encounter the real reality when we die.
My whole world view is changed. I realize suddenly that the job I have applied for has no meaning and no value. The only thing that matters is to prepare myself for eternity and to carry out a work that is important and that has real value.
I understand intuitively that the issue of morality is one of the biggest issues that humanity is facing today. Moral decay is destroying our planet. Nothing is worse than to have people in power positions who are immoral. I understand that moral decay has no eternal value. Every organization, government and human being who has chosen moral decay,- and moral decay is always a choice,- is a threat to humanity, to the living and to the dead. Moral decay causes disorder. Moral decay is the root of injustice.
My perception of eternity is adjusted. I was aware of hell and the terrible stories of people who had seen a vision or encountered hell. Are the women in the fog in the realm that we call hell? Or, are they in a different realm, - neither in Heaven nor in hell? Because...I hold my breath, the pain that they carry is imprisoning them to stay in perhaps a kind of intermediate world, the realm of pain? Is there a realm of pain like a waiting room, before the Day of Judgement?
My life is over. I feel I am one of the lost women in the fog. I feel very, very sad. I feel that I have lost something that belonged to me.
Can I live with this pain? I feel like a little lamb that is being brought to the slaughterhouse. I feel deadly wounded. Will I ever recover from this?
However, as I see and perceive,I feel as if I have permission to look into this realm where the women live, as if someone is letting me see this scene that is beyond what we would describe as a normal sensual experience. It is as if the curtain of eternity has been lifted for a few moments. I am allowed to see what cannot be seen. At least not with natural human eyes.
Have I touched what psychologist Carl Jung called the collective unconsciousness?
I feel the presence of God and I understand that I will not end up where all these women are, that God is lifting me up and out at this moment of my deepest fall. I am humbled. I was meant to perish but God won’t allow it. I was meant to fall but He holds me up. It is as if God were communicating with me without using any words. I understand that I have been given something that will enable me to go into a different direction, and this something are my talents. I feel very grateful.
I am not dependent on the IT industry. I have talents that will open up other doors and worlds for me.
Can I stay in the IT industry? Can I remain in an industry where something like this happens?
I understand that these precious women had the door shut to them and they perished. They fell. They could not lift themselves up. They had no alternative. Their lives on earth literally ended when they were abused and rejected. Did they ever tell anyone?
I feel the pain that the women experience and it is unbearable because it is the pain of the innocent, a pain beyond human words. Are these women locked in for all eternity? Their suffering is so great. I sit there and I don’t know what to do and I don’t know what to say. The women are all innocent. I am shocked, again, because I understand that they never received justice and that they are waiting for justice. How many years have they been waiting and how long will they have to wait...for justice? Gerry Spence, one of America’s most successful lawyers and member of the American Trial Lawyers Hall of Fame, said that the greatest injustice on Earth is to punish the innocent.
But, what happens when the innocent are powerless and the guilty have all the power?
I suddenly feel the love of God towards me and I know that I am greatly loved by God. I feel that he is indeed my rescuer and that he is at work in this terrible situation that was set up to destroy me. I feel that there is someone watching, on the right side of me. There is a person there, his face close to my face. The Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is real to me. He is so kind. He understands me. He cares about me. I am not alone. He has been watching. I have a witness.
Eternity is like a fabric of white light. Like a scroll of light. A film that contains the movies of our lives. My moment of torment is forever recorded in eternity. Yes, there is a scroll that contains every detail of the history of planet Earth. The truth. And the scroll can be reopened and every event revisited, forever.
I feel that the Holy Spirit is gasping for breath. He is shocked by what he sees. Like me. And I feel that he feels all the pain that the women feel and that he feels all my pain although at this moment I am unable to fully understand what has happened, what has been done to me. I am numb, like dead. And I wonder and I marvel. How can it be that the Creator can and does feel the pain of human beings? My pain? I am in awe and amazed.
I understand why the Creator hates injustice and loves justice. He is so close to us that He feels our feelings. He suffers when we suffer. This is why He is called the God of grace and mercy.
As I sit there, almost lifeless and without moving, on my chair, I observe true moral decay and wickedness as it is being displayed by my tormentor during my interview. Is this an interview or have I descended into hell? I think: well, if things have come to this, if things are as bad as they are in this interview room, then the world is in a very bad condition. Then things are really immoral. And I am deeply shocked. I am very concerned. I do not want to live on a planet where something like this happens.
I understand intuitively that everything in my life will change. That the current season of my life has ended. I am sad. And I feel like crying. And I feel like dying.I am convicted. I feel that humanity is going in the wrong direction. And this grieves me, this awareness takes hold of my entire being. I feel I have to do something. I feel that eternity does really matter. Eternity and where I will spend it. Nothing is more important than eternity.
I also perceive that it is essential that every human being operates in his or her calling, the activity and work that they are meant to be doing while they are living on planet Earth. As far as eternity is concerned, we will be judged on whether we lived as the persons that we really are meant to be and whether we expressed and fulfilled our potential. Is our individual calling predetermined?
The women in the fog have retained their consciousness and what happened on earth to them. And they grieve. And they demand justice.
I feel, that up to now, that my life has also been going into the wrong direction. I feel convicted. I am deeply convicted. My life must change. I am facing moral decay on one side and eternity on the other, and eternity has the greater weight. I feel that I am supernaturally being taken out of my present life and called. Called to something new. Called out of the things I am in. My life can never be the same.
I cannot go on living as before. I am confronted with the perception that human pain does not end when we leave the earth and die but that we take all our pain with us into the realm that we call eternity.
I feel like dying. Eternal pain. Pain forever and ever. I cannot stand it. I am totally overwhelmed. Is injustice eternal?
I feel like flying in mid air. I cannot get back down to Earth. And Heaven is too high up. The unknown is scary but I have no choice. I must stay in mid air until new and higher ground will appear.
I suddenly fear that moment in time that we call the Last Judgement, when all the dead are judged. This Last Judgement becomes suddenly very real to me. I have not really feared it up to now because I know that I will not be judged because of the grace and mercy of God who has already justified me...forever.
But, what about the women in the fog Where will they spend eternity? What happens with all the people who cannot get into the perfect realm that we call Heaven? Because, if we look at the Word of God, it states clearly that not all people will go to Heaven. Where will you spend eternity?
Heaven or hell, we have the choice. Hell must be similar to what’s going on in this interview.
I want to die. I don’t want to live anymore. I cannot bear the thought that not everyone is going to Heaven. I cannot stand the reality of the Last Judgement, the most terrible day to come in the history of mankind.
The Day of Judgement is for the innocent and the guilty. The innocent will receive justice and the guilty eternal punishment. I understand intuitively that there must be a Judgement Day. Without it, the innocent can never find peace. And love demands that the guilty be punished.
I understand intuitively that it makes sense to have a Last or Eternal Judgement if it is true that we human beings take our pain and all the injustices that were done to us and all the injustices that we have committed on earth, with us into eternity.
The Creator administers justice and judgement out of his love and compassion for humanity. Everything will be put right.
Is there a human being who can escape Judgement? Is there a man or a woman who can escape justice?
The dead and the living demand justice. Justice must and will be given. Unless justice is administered, the human soul cannot find rest and stays in pain. And when the innocent suffer, the Creator suffers.
It would be injustice to let the innocent carry the pain of injustice throughout all eternity.
The women in the fog do remember. They remember the injustice they experienced on Earth. They feel the pain. I feel their pain. Do they feel my pain? Am I seeing this vision because the women can feel my pain? Are they appearing out of eternity because of my pain? Is my pain attracting them?
Could it be that they appeared because they are very upset about what is being done to me?
Or, is the reason why I am supernaturally being made aware of the women’s pain that I am called and instructed and commanded to stop pain?
I sit there and the man who puts me through this stress sex interview has no clue what’s going on, and neither do I. This is supernatural.
There are two ways to establish justice:one way is to obtain justice and compensation on Earth, and the other way is to obtain justice and compensation in the realm of eternity that we enter after we die. I believe that it is much better for the offender to be convicted and punished here on earth than to get away with it and then be convicted and punished after death. Why? Because I believe that an offender can receive mercy on earth, but there will be no mercy after death. An offender has the chance to change his and the victim’s eternal destiny while still on earth. There is no such chance after death. The punishment after death for the offender is so heavy and great, that no person in their right mind would ever want to experience it.
How will the Last Judgement be? It will be gruesome to watch, both for the accused and the innocent.
Is there such a thing as true and real justice? Yes, the Word of God as compiled in the Bible, says there is.
Justice is real. Justice is the foundation of life. The foundation on which this universe is built. The fabric of which eternity is made.
And punishment is real. There are no excuses. And there is no escape.
If this is so, then it does not make any sense to cause any pain to any human being because everyone who causes pain will be punished, either here on earth or in eternity. We actually determine the course of our lives in eternity through every decision and action on earth.
I want to make a pladoyer to stop causing pain. To stop causing pain to anyone, whether human or animal. The human soul was not made for pain. We are so fragile. We are so much in need of acceptance and love.
Whoever causes pain disturbes the peace of the universe and shall not go unpunished. Justice is always given in love if it is rightly given and this means that eternity is the realm of love.
Whoever causes pain does so because he or she lacks the knowledge of the truth and doesn't really know what he or she is doing.
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Click on the blue button to read for free the First Chapter "The Cry for Justice Across the US And The World" in Renata's book "The SAP Stress Sex Interview" and hear a powerful and life changing message for justice and renewal. Renata Leuffen's book is available as a web download from this website, on Amazon, Kindle and in all bookstores around the world.
Renata's dead son shows up in a dream, click on picture right to read